Understanding the Amygdala Hijack: How to Stay Calm When Emotions Take Over

Have you ever been in a situation where your emotions suddenly took control, leaving you feeling overwhelmed or regretful? This might be due to an “Amygdala Hijack,” a term coined by Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence. The amygdala is a part of the brain responsible for processing emotions, especially when you feel threatened or stressed. When this happens, it sends signals that release stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, causing you to react without thinking clearly.

What is an Amygdala Hijack?

An amygdala hijack occurs when a situation triggers an intense emotional response, making it difficult for you to think logically. This response can lead to a ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ reaction—useful in dangerous situations, but less helpful in everyday scenarios, such as managing an upset customer or dealing with disrespectful comments from a boss, coworker, friend, or family member.

How to Manage an Amygdala Hijack

The goal is to recognize when this response is happening and regain control over your reactions. Here are some quick tips to help:

1. Don’t Take It Personally
   When someone reacts strongly, remind yourself that their emotions are shaped by their experiences and beliefs. This approach helps you not to internalize their reaction.
2. Take a Break and Breathe
   If you feel emotions building up, step away for a moment if possible. Take a few deep breaths to calm your mind and give yourself a moment to think clearly.
3. Change Your Perspective
   Try to view the situation differently. Instead of labeling a person’s reaction as “rude” or “unfair,” see it as a clue to something deeper. Ask yourself, “What might be causing this reaction?” This will help shift your mindset and reduce emotional intensity.
4. Acknowledge and Validate
   If you’re dealing with someone else’s heightened emotions, show empathy by acknowledging their feelings: “It’s totally understandable that you feel this way.” This can defuse tension and make space for a calmer conversation.

Final Thoughts

Remember, staying calm is not about ignoring your emotions; it’s about managing them mindfully. When you recognize an amygdala hijack, take a step back, breathe, and choose your response instead of reacting impulsively. With practice, you’ll find yourself handling stressful situations more effectively and building stronger relationships.